Try try again

So it turns out that I didn't do so well with my month of admiration there. There are many more I would have added to that, but frankly, it was making me feel so restricted. For now I'm just going to forget limitations and speak what's on the heart. I've been in such a rut for the last few months. So uninspired. And it sucks. So lately I've been trying to find my way back to things that make me smile, things that bring joy to my life. I've been trying to appreciate the things I have, find hope in things to come, and bask a little longer in memories of the past.

Sometimes I forget, but the truth is - I have a great life. I have a family that loves me, a husband who adores me, friends that make me laugh, and I need for nothing. How easily I take this all for granted.

Lately, all I can think about is this life growing in my belly. How much I want for her. How I want her to know love, to know friendship, to know the world is a beautiful place, to know God, to know her family. How I want her to believe in good over evil, to believe in magic and fairy tales. And I want her to love others, to care for people more than things, to be generous and kind, to be curious and creative, to be carefree and adventurous. I could lay with my hands on my belly all morning, just dreaming for her, of her.

As much as I want all that for her, I want that for me too. I think I've been too easily going with the flow. Not in a good way. In a way that means I haven't been following my passions. I haven't been loving life for all it's worth. I want that to change for me, but for her as well. I want her to be able to look to me as an example. To see that a woman can pursue her dreams, no matter what they are, and what they look like to anyone else.