From the moment you take a breath outside your mother's womb you are the subject of comparison. Growing up, especially with siblings, you learn to do this to yourself. Andy always got slightly better grades or test scores than I did, don't think I didn't notice. Then, as a young woman, this comparison easily turns to looks. Someone is prettier, someone has a cuter boyfriend, someone got a job modeling (wth?).
So now that I'm a mom, it's TOO easy to compare. Not even in a malicious way, at least most of the time. It's very easy to be prideful, especially since most parents think their child is the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel. We are no exception to that.
So lately there have been all these "milestones" Addy should be coming up on. Potty training. Big girl bed. Speaking in sentences. Knowing colors. Counting. Composing a symphony. You get it. It's hard not to compare where she is with other kids. But then I think how incredibly different she is than other kids. She's strong willed, tall, agile, clever, smart, and demanding. Are these the result of nature or am I nurturing a strong, demanding girl? Probably both. I was that way as a kid, so there is definitely some genetics at play, but if I read certain books I could be led to think I'm not providing her with enough structure or enough discipline or too many activities that she chooses (also known as child-led to some).
Everyday is a battle to not let other kids, other parenting styles, parenting advice books, get me down. Everyday is a challenge. But I have learned (am learning) to pray that God will give me a girl who puts all her passion, her determination, her strength and stubborness into seeking is will for her and glorfying his name through all the Earth. I've learned to believe that she has the makings of someone who will make waves, someone who's whirlwind of a life might be a howling storm.
I've also been feeling a lot of pressure to worry (that's a funny statement) about when we will have another kid (if we are able, God willing). From incredibly personal inquiries (which I'm not offended by, but basically you're asking about my sex-life - hello!), to downright demands that we have another (even in semi-jest), I feel like I need to get on the bandwagon. Well I've thankfully been feeling a lot of peace about the fact that God has a plan for me. I don't even need to work out a plan, because God has it all worked out, and it's better than what I have in mind.
God is SO GOOD. Quit worrying about the future. In fact, when tempted to plan for the future, think further ahead - to eternity in the presence of our Lord and Savior. Satan wants us to compare, he wants us to worry, and he's accomplishing his goals in this material heart of mine.
Is this post directed at me? ;)
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