Last night was the first night I met with 12 or so 20-something women. Me, and two friends are co-leading a small group. This is a first for me, but something that has been on my mind for about 2 years. One of my co-leaders suggested I talk about my small group experience as a lead-in to talking about our vision for the group just forming. So while I am very excited to be a part of a new small group with young 20-something women who are on the cusp of such great change, today I just wanted to share the gist of what I said to those girls.
About 4 years ago I timidly walked into the home of someone I had never met and sat in a circle with about 20 women I had never met. I take that back, I had kind of met one of the girls in a bible study before, but didn't even remember her name (sorry Holly). I was lonely, stumbling, and searching for friendship, fellowship, and community anywhere I could find it. What started as a bible study, ended up as a years-long journey. While some women came into the group and for one reason or another soon left, there was a core group of about 8-10 women who have been there through it all. I was one of them, and despite the feeling that things weren't going well, that I wasn't connecting with people, that no one wanted to really know me, today, I find that those women are the closest friends I have. Those women walked through life with me during some of the hardest struggles of my life: struggling to get pregnant, and my mom's cancer diagnosis and eventual death. And those were just MY struggles. That doesn't count their struggles, which were varied and difficult as well. So when I decided to leave that group, it was with a heavy heart. Not seeing all those women every other week and hearing the intricacies of their lives - that will be hard. And I pray we will find a way to still share those things with one another. But leaving was also an exciting thing, because it's what brought me to those girls last night. I see in them the things I myself felt during my early twenties. Their energy, their curiosity, their search for community - it's all there. And I hope that some or all of those girls can look back years from now and say that last night was the beginning of some of the best relationships of their lives.
I'm immeasurably grateful for the women in my life, both my former small group, and my current one. I cannot put into words what can transpire if you put yourself out there for others to know; if you push to make a big place small.
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