A (little over a) year ago.

After hoping, praying, and imagining starting our family together, we had our little girl last November. Two days ago she turned 1. One! A small number, certainly, but who knew 12 months could go by so quickly! Especially after those first four...

At 36 weeks pregnant I was showing no signs of being ready to rock 'n roll. So we went to Nebraska, against doctor's advice (I was traveling with 3 for crying out loud), and enjoyed a great Husker game. I was sick, and really big, so outside of the game, my trip was miserable. We stopped every hour to get out and walk. I remember Pete being so thoughtful and both of us being anxious for her arrival. We returned and the only change was a spike in my blood pressure. Bed rest. What? I hadn't factored that little bad boy into the equation. Work practically stopped, and we started talking. What did that mean for Adalie, who apparently was snug as a rug and not ready to come out. We talked about how it would probably lead to an induction the following week. Those 7 days were long. I know people are on bed rest for months sometimes. They are saints.

Well a last minute sonogram showed a breech baby. No wonder we weren't progressing at all. The girl was really jammed up under my ribs. Despite my desire to try things au naturale, I was instead going the complete opposite direction. Surgery was scheduled.

On the 9th we went to the hospital. All hopped up on nervous excitement. I cried when they put my IV in. I know. I'm a huge baby. I was so scared. I did NOT want a spinal, I did not want to be splayed out on an operating table with bright lights on me and scalpals and all that jazz. Not in my "birth plan." But so it was. Husbandless (at first), laying on a cold table, modesty out the window, I waited for them to hand me my little lady. Pete was great. He was so concerned with me, but was torn. He wanted to watch what they were doing, and he wanted to be sure I was ok.

Finally, they handed her to me. I hardly knew what to do. I was still very scared, everything felt so surreal, and I just remember not knowing what I felt (including my hands - I couldn't feel anything below my neck really). Of course I loved her! That feeling can't just be typed out and explained in words, it really can't.

Everything was hard while we were there. No sleep, learning to breastfeed, being concerned for our child, managing visitors, and oh yeah, closing on our house.

Bringing this girl home was really difficult. A c-section is a serious surgery and I can't fathom what people are thinking when they elect to have these surgeries of their own free will for no medical reason. Craziness. I struggled with loneliness, being overwhelmed, pain (I don't like pain medication and only took 2 pills after I got home), insecurities, and loads more. Not to mention my hormones were out of control. You can't know what this feels like until it happens to you.

Other struggles have followed, but many more triumphs. This past year has changed us forever. We have so much more to learn, but if our heads grow half as much as our hearts, we'll be able to figure it out.

She likes playing in her box as much as she likes the presents that came in it.

Another failed Tebby pic. Ooo - hurts the eyes!

Now this is my sweet tired girl. Greasy hair and all. :)

We've got a party (hopefully) and a baptism this weekend. I'm sure it'll be busy.